Why is my child difficult to talk to? Is it a sign of Puberty? | Aurel Saragih | Kinderkloud

Why is my child difficult to talk to? Is it a sign of Puberty?

parenting a teenager

Parents, have your pre-teen children ever said that they are embarrassed if they are still being taken on a trip? Or even no longer want to be hugged, kissed, or shown affection by touch? Now, pay attention as this is not a sign that your children are uncomfortable, but indeed it is time for them to enter what is commonly referred to as puberty. What do you need to prepare?

Give space for children to express themselves

Children who enter pre-adolescence at the age of 9-13 years experience biological changes in their bodies. They will look for activities that can increase the production of the dopamine hormone which makes them more happy and excited. The activities they are usually looking for will definitely be physical activities such as sports, art (dance or music) or even other activities such as reading comics, novels, or playing on the computer.

At this age, our children will tend to reduce the intensity of listening to advice or prohibitions on something. Now for parents, if what our children are doing is still positive, then give them time and space to explore. Keep boundaries and watch side by side.

Don't judge when your child is telling a story

One of the things that makes it difficult for pre-teens to tell about their day is the response from us as parents. When the child tells a story, give them the opportunity to tell at length what happened that day at that time. Give a response that shows how enthusiastic you are about listening to the story such as nodding, being surprised, and asking questions that make them want to tell more. For example, when your son tells you he's sad because his grades are bad, ask him what he wants if his grades are good? Who's score is better than him? After that, give affirmation that his feelings are valid and he can still try another time to get a good grade.

Avoid giving judgments like "why are you sad like that?" which may sound like trivializing the child's feelings at the time. Remember that pre-teens have a hard time describing the emotions they're feeling, so telling stories is an accomplishment that should be appreciated.

Give space for children to hang out with their peers

Pre-adolescence is a period when the opinion of peers is the most important thing. It is important for us to remind children that negative and incorrect opinions about themselves do not need to be heard, but we also give children space to evaluate their friendships. When a child wants to go with an extracurricular friend outside of school hours, give the rule that it is permissible to go but only for 2 hours and be escorted by the parents. If clear boundaries are given and a child's time is respected, then the child will also learn that boundaries for going out with friends are important.

In addition, instill in children the concept of healthy friendship. For example, a good friend is a friend who supports them in a better direction, such as doing homework together, participating in extracurricular activities that develop their talents together, and being happy when we achieve certain things. With that, the child will learn to choose good friends for them.

So parents, parenting pre-teens is a new transitional challenge. So, are you still passionate about teaching new things to our children who will soon be moving into a new phase in their lives?

Reference

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/parenting/parenting-teenagers 

Teenagers, parenting, parenting a teenager

Children 4 Years - 6 Years / 4 Tahun - 6 Tahun / Parenting / Pola Asuh / Family / Keluarga / Why is my child difficult to talk to? Is it a sign of Puberty?

Comments

Add Comment
photo of birthday tale book cover kinderkloud
Birthday Tale
Kinderkloud
Personalized book symbolizing that each child is special, wished for, longed for and play for and all the nature celebrate them together. Children will be introduced to various animals in their natural habitats along the journey.
photo of dream high book cover kinderkloud
Dream High
Kinderkloud
Personalized book to help Children imagine the professions in the future through their lens and encourage the little dreamers to explore and pursue their passion because the future is in their hands.
photo of prayer warrior book cover kinderkloud
Prayer Warrior
Kinderkloud
Personalized book to explain and the concept and importance of prayers to children and continuously remind our future generations to be mindful and thankful even for the smallest things in life. A guide book for our little prayer warriors to pray every day, everywhere and in every way.
photo of 5 colorful balloons book cover kinderkloud
5 Colorful Balloons
Blubridge Center
Balonku ada 5.. Rupa Rupa Warnanya..
Taking this classic to another level by combining this seemingly simple songs with Plutchick's Wheel of Emotions to introduce children to understand and express their feelings positively with introduction to Manners and Values in every step of the way for everyday life.
photo of starry starry paradise book cover kinderkloud
Starry Starry Paradise
Kinderkloud x Marianne Rumantir
Are you team mountain or team beach?
Personalized book to trigger the imagination and curiosity to discover the wonders of our wonderful Indonesia. The food, music, fashion, language, landscape and the culture. They all never fail to amaze us. What better legacy can we pass on for Indonesia than by instilling nationalism to the future generation of this part of the planet called heaven on earth.
photo of journey to the top book cover kinderkloud
Journey to the Top
Kinderkloud x Marianne Rumantir
Are you team mountain or team beach?
Personalized book to trigger the imagination and curiosity to discover the wonders of our wonderful Indonesia. The food, music, fashion, language, landscape and the culture. They all never fail to amaze us. What better legacy can we pass on for Indonesia than by instilling nationalism to the future generation of this part of the planet called heaven on earth.
photo of cerita di festival ceria book cover kinderkloud
Cerita di Festival Ceria
Kinderkloud | Parentalk | Good Enough Parents
Tidak ada dua yang sama persis, setiap anak memiliki kegemaran, keunikan, dan karakterisitik yang spesial termasuk Kakak dan Adik. Ikuti perjalanan mereka dalam sebuah kisah akhir pekan yang berkesan di Festival in the Jungle untuk mengeksplorasi dan mengenal diri mereka masing-masing lebih dalam lagi.
photo of preparing for a sibling book cover kinderkloud
Preparing for a Sibling
Regina F. Amal
A heartwarming story where child learns what it means to become a bigger sibling. Featuring both children, in one delightful story! Meanwhile, parents are assuring that each child will always be loved just the same. There will always be enough love for everyone.
photo of being a good sport book cover kinderkloud
Being a Good Sport
Sigi Wimala
In the heart of this whimsical THE GREAT FOREST GAME, your loved ones discovers the true essence of sportsmanship: the cherished value of friendship that outshines any victory. Experience the joy of camaraderies and empathy as your loved ones embraces the spirit of being a good sport, leaving a lasting impression on young hearts.
photo of birthday wishlist book cover kinderkloud
Birthday Wishlist
Kinderkloud x Mama Ani
This year, on a memorable birthday occasion, a caring Mom considered sharing the importance of delayed gratification. Join your loved one in crafting a birthday wishlist and discovering the Power of Patience to make each birthday genuinely extraordinary.
photo of christmas wishlist book cover kinderkloud
Christmas Wishlist
Kinderkloud x Mama Ani
This year, on a memorable christmas occasion, a caring Mom considered sharing the importance of delayed gratification. Join your loved one in crafting a christmas wishlist and discovering the Power of Patience to make each christmas genuinely extraordinary.