How to refuse a child's request? Tips for telling the truth to children! | Salsabilatuzzahra Jaha S.Psi. from BehaviorPALS Center| Kinderkloud

How to refuse a child's request? Tips for telling the truth to children!

children and parents

Hello parents! Remember that honesty is the main key to trust? So is building a relationship. Honesty must be instilled in children from parents. Parents must be honest with their children. Vice versa. Because like parents, so do children. However, in practice sometimes there are still obstacles to applying honesty to children. Especially when parents have to refuse a child's request or when a child asks questions that parents may find difficult to answer. So to find out how to see the following information:


1. Be honest to keep your child's trust!

Honesty is the key to trust. Children's trust is very important to maintain in building children's respect. Remember parents! that basically children are born with conditions that believe in their parents. It is the parents who play a role in maintaining or destroying the child's trust. How do you keep his trust? by always telling the truth to children. If indeed you refuse a child's request with reasons for the child's health, then convey this. For example, when your child says he wants candy but you forbid it because you are afraid that your child will have a toothache. Then give an honest reason for forbidding that candy is not allowed because later it will hurt your teeth, don't give an excuse because you don't have money. Especially after that, your child sees that there is money in your wallet. Then the child will know that his parents are lying. Don't let this happen. Or even you use a harsh tone in rejecting the child's request without the child being given a reason. This might work, but of course, which one is better? obedient children because they believe in their parents or obedient children because they are afraid of their parents?

 

2. When you want to refuse a child's wishes, how do you do it?

Children learn from their parents. So be parents who are honest in speaking, and also honest in every action. If your child asks for something, respond honestly. Rejecting or accepting a child's request must also be honest. Likewise, when children ask questions, answer honestly

Some parents think that toddlers or children under 5 years old cannot accept explanations. Even though the child can actually understand the explanation as long as the parents convey it simply. If so, how do you convey it? Speak honestly, speak softly full of love. Parents should also get used to inviting children to dialogue. When you want to provide an explanation or dialogue, you can:

  • listen to each other

Parents must listen to the child well before responding to the child's answer. Do not interrupt the conversation before the child has finished expressing his opinion or feelings.

  • Clearly and honestly state the reason for prohibiting or rejecting the child's wishes.

State clearly the reason why you are banning them. Be honest about the reasons and don't make excuses. For example, when you forbid your child from eating ice cream because he is sick, but you explain reasons for forbidding it, such as "You can't eat ice cream because dad doesn't have money" even though dad has money. If the child knows that his father is lying, then the child will feel lied to. That way, the child's trust in his parents will fade. So be honest if the reason for forbidding it is because you are sick, give a simple understanding and explanation to your child.

  • Calm down when the child doesn't accept it.

When we give an explanation but the child doesn't accept it, stay calm. If the child has finished talking, respond to the child by remaining calm and friendly. Take care not to raise your voice because this actually provokes children to raise their voices too so that they are even more excited about threats.

 

3. The child asks difficult questions. What should I answer?

Some of the moments when parents have difficulty speaking honestly to children are when children ask difficult questions. These difficult questions can be questions that parents really don't know the answers to or questions that parents may find difficult to explain to their children. Very often in the end parents will answer lies. In fact, that's not quite right. Sometimes, being honest when unable to answer difficult questions actually makes children trust and respect their parents more. Complete trust makes children believe that if parents speak the truth, they will be honest. There must be a foundation that can be held. So for the above, parents can do this:

  • Respond to child's questions

Hurry up to answer the child's questions. Respond kindly. Not slow, nor hasty. When are parents called in a hurry to answer children's questions? If the parents do not understand the meaning of the child's question, they are in a hurry to give an answer. In the end, the parents will give a superficial answer.

Examples of what we can do: "I know the answer, son. But Mother is still confused about how to explain to you. Mother, think about how to answer it so you can easily understand.”

  • If you don't know the answer, be honest that you don't know.

What should parents do if they know the answers to children's questions? Tell me honestly that Mom and Dad don't know. Thank them and show appreciation. Make Father Mother's ignorance an opportunity to encourage her to be passionate about studying.


The above needs parents always apply to the family. That way, you will maintain the family's trust and you will be respected by your children. The key to the closeness of the relationship between children and parents is trust. I hope it is useful!


By Salsabilatuzzahra Jaha S.Psi from the BehaviorPALS Center

Source 

Hasbi, M., Adhim, M. F., Maryana, & Ngasmawi, M. (2020). Cara Sederhana Agar Anak Mencintai Orang Tua. Jakarta: KEMDIKBUD RI.

https://paudpedia.kemdikbud.go.id/uploads/anggun/images/30_buku_orang_tua/14_CARA_SEDERHANA_AGAR_ANAK_MENCINTAI_ORANG_TUA_.pdf 

 

Children, Parenting, Refuse child's request

Children 4 Years - 6 Years / 4 Tahun - 6 Tahun / Parenting / Pola Asuh / Family / Keluarga / How to refuse a child's request? Tips for telling the truth to children!

Comments

Add Comment
photo of birthday tale book cover kinderkloud
Birthday Tale
Kinderkloud
Personalized book symbolizing that each child is special, wished for, longed for and play for and all the nature celebrate them together. Children will be introduced to various animals in their natural habitats along the journey.
photo of dream high book cover kinderkloud
Dream High
Kinderkloud
Personalized book to help Children imagine the professions in the future through their lens and encourage the little dreamers to explore and pursue their passion because the future is in their hands.
photo of prayer warrior book cover kinderkloud
Prayer Warrior
Kinderkloud
Personalized book to explain and the concept and importance of prayers to children and continuously remind our future generations to be mindful and thankful even for the smallest things in life. A guide book for our little prayer warriors to pray every day, everywhere and in every way.
photo of 5 colorful balloons book cover kinderkloud
5 Colorful Balloons
Blubridge Center
Balonku ada 5.. Rupa Rupa Warnanya..
Taking this classic to another level by combining this seemingly simple songs with Plutchick's Wheel of Emotions to introduce children to understand and express their feelings positively with introduction to Manners and Values in every step of the way for everyday life.
photo of starry starry paradise book cover kinderkloud
Starry Starry Paradise
Kinderkloud x Marianne Rumantir
Are you team mountain or team beach?
Personalized book to trigger the imagination and curiosity to discover the wonders of our wonderful Indonesia. The food, music, fashion, language, landscape and the culture. They all never fail to amaze us. What better legacy can we pass on for Indonesia than by instilling nationalism to the future generation of this part of the planet called heaven on earth.
photo of journey to the top book cover kinderkloud
Journey to the Top
Kinderkloud x Marianne Rumantir
Are you team mountain or team beach?
Personalized book to trigger the imagination and curiosity to discover the wonders of our wonderful Indonesia. The food, music, fashion, language, landscape and the culture. They all never fail to amaze us. What better legacy can we pass on for Indonesia than by instilling nationalism to the future generation of this part of the planet called heaven on earth.
photo of cerita di festival ceria book cover kinderkloud
Cerita di Festival Ceria
Kinderkloud | Parentalk | Good Enough Parents
Tidak ada dua yang sama persis, setiap anak memiliki kegemaran, keunikan, dan karakterisitik yang spesial termasuk Kakak dan Adik. Ikuti perjalanan mereka dalam sebuah kisah akhir pekan yang berkesan di Festival in the Jungle untuk mengeksplorasi dan mengenal diri mereka masing-masing lebih dalam lagi.
photo of preparing for a sibling book cover kinderkloud
Preparing for a Sibling
Regina F. Amal
A heartwarming story where child learns what it means to become a bigger sibling. Featuring both children, in one delightful story! Meanwhile, parents are assuring that each child will always be loved just the same. There will always be enough love for everyone.
photo of being a good sport book cover kinderkloud
Being a Good Sport
Sigi Wimala
In the heart of this whimsical THE GREAT FOREST GAME, your loved ones discovers the true essence of sportsmanship: the cherished value of friendship that outshines any victory. Experience the joy of camaraderies and empathy as your loved ones embraces the spirit of being a good sport, leaving a lasting impression on young hearts.
photo of birthday wishlist book cover kinderkloud
Birthday Wishlist
Kinderkloud x Mama Ani
This year, on a memorable birthday occasion, a caring Mom considered sharing the importance of delayed gratification. Join your loved one in crafting a birthday wishlist and discovering the Power of Patience to make each birthday genuinely extraordinary.
photo of christmas wishlist book cover kinderkloud
Christmas Wishlist
Kinderkloud x Mama Ani
This year, on a memorable christmas occasion, a caring Mom considered sharing the importance of delayed gratification. Join your loved one in crafting a christmas wishlist and discovering the Power of Patience to make each christmas genuinely extraordinary.
photo of bersuara untuk udara
 book cover kinderkloud
Bersuara untuk Udara
Bicara Udara
Langit biru adalah hak semua orang. Kita semua dapat berkontribusi menjadi pahlawan udara bersih melalui tindakan kecil sehari-hari. Buku ini mengajak anak-anak untuk memahami pentingnya menjaga kebersihan udara dan bagaimana mereka dapat berkontribusi.
photo of dream jar : introducing money skill for kids book cover kinderkloud
Dream Jar : Introducing Money Skill For Kids
Evander Shine Sidarta & Aline Wiratmaja
Child and his/her "dream jar" teaches basic money management, through separating savings into spend, share, and save categories. Your beeloved even learns about stocks, understanding they represent company ownership and can grow over time. Parents are encouraged to have open conversations about money, take children to banks, and prioritize quality time to build strong financial habits and values.